Progress

It seems I've once again been away from blog land.  Most family and friends that I originally started blogging for here are now connected with me on Facebook, so my blogging bouts are further and further apart.  However DH and I made some major progress today with our SIF issues, which made me want to post. 

So on to the updates:

Work:
-I'm a bit relieved that my principal is retiring effective June 30th.  We don't know yet who the replacement for next school year will be, but I am hopeful the new person will bring positive changes our way.  Most of us feel the school morale has declined immensely over the 3 years the current principal has been with us.  In addition, the student behavior school-wide seems to have also worsened.

-I feel horrible.  A new teacher whom I'm the mentor for was told (by principal mentioned above) that she isn't being re-appointed for next year.  It's really awful.  I am livid at the way it was handled...the teacher was in the middle of instruction during 1st period, when there was a knock on her classroom door.  Upon answering the door, there was a substitute teacher who told her she was needed in the Principal's office and the sub was there to provide class coverage.  The teacher reported to the Principal's office, where our principal and one assistant principal were waiting.  They then informed her that they don't want her to return to our school next year.  After their meeting, she was expected to go back to her classroom.  Can you imagine?  I am pleased that she is sticking with it through the duration of this school year, as I think many people would have "walked" immediately upon being told their contract won't be renewed. Why this was not handled during her planning period (last period of the day) or before or after school infuriates me.  To expect someone to return to their classroom immediately after learning they were terminated?? Ridiculous!
-I do think the new teacher was doing poorly, however I don't think they gave her a fair chance.  She was hired after 13 subs had been in the classroom.  In addition, it is her first time teaching in the state of FL.  I believe she should have been given at least one more year, becuase I truly think if she'd been able to be with the students for the WHOLE school year, she could've established her own rituals and routines from Day 1 so things wouldn't have been so crazy.  To me it's like they threw her into a hornet's nest and then didn't give her any support when she tried to make her way out.

-I was informed on Weds that I will be moving back to 8th grade (instead of 6th) next school year.  I have mixed feelings about this...I really enjoy the 8th grade students, but the administrator and classroom I'll be working in are not as wonderful as those I use now. I am also a bit anxious, because county-wide the 8th grade will be using new reading curriculum next year...and new programs are always a pain in the backside to implement.  Sighs.

Emma:
-Continues to be such a joy!  I am ever thankful for my girl each and every day!

-Has completed half of the testing to be deemed "Gifted" for gifted resource classes at her school.  Unfortunately, the state of Florida allows school psychologists a certain number of school days to complete all testing, so we do not anticipate that all testing will be finished prior to school starting next year.

-Based on observations by us at home and by school staff at school, we also believe that Emma falls into the "Sensual Overexcitability" category. 

-In a nutshell, a famous Polish psychologist, Kazimierz Debrowski researched and labeled five "overexcitabilities" which gifted children often have.  http://giftedkids.about.com/od/gifted101/a/overexcite.htm

-I feel SO badly I was not honed in on the signs of this overexictability earlier!  But there are signals of overexcitability that Emma has done for as long as I can remember:
       -She MUST have clothing tags cut out of her clothes.
       -If socks don't align on her toes "just right," she will refuse to wear them.  (When we find socks she likes, I always go back and buy multiple pairs.)
        -She is sensitive to loud noises.  In movie theaters or places with loud music (concert; marching band, etc.) Emma plugs her ears.  We use ear protection for her when she views fireworks, because she hates the loud noise.   Each week at the end of dance class, the girls all form a circle, put their arms in the middle, then high five and yell "Bravo!"  Emma places one ear down on her shoulder, plugs the other ear with one hand, and then does the "high five" with the arm under her ear/shoulder.
     -She is particular about food.  She only likes certain foods and likes them certain ways.  (Ex. she prefers boxed mac&cheese to creamier homemade types.)  She also does not like for her foods to touch--she will scoot items on her plate as far apart from one another as possible.
-Fortunately, Emma's oversensitivity is mild and she seems to cope better with things the older she gets. 

-It's been interesting for me after dealing with low level IQ students for many years, to be learning more and more about the gifted and higher end needs of children. 

-It was amazing for me as a mom when for the first time, Emma (in 1st grade) passed the reading level of my lowest students (in 6th grade) this year.  Way to go, Em!

Emmaism:
-There was a Book Fair at Emma's school this week.  One of the books that she purchased was a quiz book.  DH and I cracked up today when Emma was completing a quiz about her interests.  For the question, "Who is your favorite actor?," the conversation went something like this:

Emma:  Who's that guy from "Back to the Future?"
Me:  Michael J. Fox
Emma:  No, the old guy.  Doc.
Me:  Christopher Lloyd?
Emma:  Yeah!  I love him!       

She then wrote his name down in her quiz journal as being her favorite actor.  Hilarious!

Secondary Infertility:
-After all these years, DH and I had our first appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist today. I felt we established more goals and plans in our 30 minutes with Dr. B than in our last three years with my OBGYN.  SOOOO glad we went!

-Thrilled that he (Dr. B) wrote down notes about our medical history himself---no secretary/RN like at my OB's office.  He spent time with us and heard us out.  I am pleased.

-We left with a 3-step plan:
1.  I will have blood work done with my next cycle in June.
2.  I will also do one cycle of Femara to try to get PG.
3.  If we do not get PG with Femara use, then the Dr. wants me to do outpatient lapraoscopic surgery, because he suspects I have endometriosis.
4.  And Beyond--after determining whether or not I have endometriosis and if it is entirely removed, we can then pursue IVF.     And they literally offer a "teacher discount" for IVF procedures done during the summer months....crazy, hey?

-DH and I both liked the doctor's demeanor.   And I think we were both stunned when the doctor told us he believes we can have a baby "for hundreds, not thousands of dollars" of medical interventions.

-So today, I feel real hope again (with regards to having Child #2) for the first time in several years.   Definite progress!

Black Cloud

Work: It feels like there has been a black cloud over the 4 other members of my reading department and I for the past 2 and 1/2 months...

-D.F.'s jeep was totaled when a teenager ran a red light and smashed into her on the way to school the week before winter break. She suffered a concussion, but thankfully no other major injuries at the scene of the accident. She is still suffering dizzy spells sometimes, but is fortunately "okay" physically other than dealing with headaches and dizziness.

-C.J. tripped and fell on a parking lot curb while shopping the 2nd week of January. She fractured her elbow and has missed lots of work with doctor's appointments and physical therapy appointments, etc. And of course Murphy's Law of injuries--the elbow she shattered was on her dominant arm and effects the hand that she writes with. In addition, her mother has had some circulatory issues and has had to have 2 days of testing at the local Mayo Clinic to try to determine the cause.

-A.S. is our newbie and coming in mid-year after a slew of substitutes she continues to be like someone who is treading water with no shore in sight. On top of still trying to learn the ins and outs of both our county software and our reading program software, she feels like her students are running amok behaviorally.

I am her assigned mentor and am struggling a bit. I feel badly for her, as I know first-hand what it is like to try to take over a classroom mid-year. (When I started teaching back in '03, I began in November after the students had had several different substitutes for the 6 weeks before I was hired.) However, A.S. is not being assertive enough. She tells me things in our mentor/mentee meetings like, "I tell students to rotate to the computer station and they don't go." UHHH...hello! Whose classroom is it? She needs to take charge! It's really difficult because we've discussed parent phone calls, class participation points, the system I use to monitor students' rotations in my classroom, etc., but I can only make suggestions and offer support and ideas, I can't force her to use them. I'm just surprised by her lack of classroom management, because she has 2 teenage sons, and though she took a break for 12 years, she did teach previously.

-L.P., whose husband died 10 years ago and whose only child died in a freak accident at age 27 two years ago had been dealing with the declining health of her mother. She had recently helped her mother begrudgingly move into a full-time hospice center. Sadly, her mother died this past Thursday. I am so grateful that L.P. was able to be off of work and was with her mother at the time she passed away. (L.P. had missed a lot of work in December due to her mother being hospitalized, and she didn't want to miss anymore days.) Her mom had actually been doing better health-wise the past 2 weeks, so her death was a bit unexpected. My heart goes out to L.P., as she is an only child herself, and now she is truly alone with regards to having any family. She is taking next week off and among making arrangements for her mother's funeral services, she is faced with the task of having her mother's body transported from Florida to Georgia so that her mom can be buried in the burial plot with her father in their GA hometown. So sad!

-Add my January miscarriage to the mix, and you can see that the five of us combined have had tons of stressful incidents to cope with. I am hoping that the dark cloud has rained itself out now!

SIF:
My follow-up with the OB went like this:
--Bloodwork results were again normal.
--There is a cyst. I was mistaken it is on my right ovary, not left. It is 2.3 cm in diameter. I go back in 6 weeks for a sonogram to confirm whether or not the cyst is growing or shrinking. If it is shrinking (which my cyst back in '09 did and eventually disappeared on its' own) then I'm home free. If it is growing, we'll discuss whether or not surgery for removal is needed.
--I was given a referral for a consult with a reproductive endocrinologist for DH and I. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. As I stated 2 posts ago, I had finally come to terms with being a mom to a singleton...I am not sure what measures I am now willing to take with regards to becoming pregnant again. However, after thinking on it and discussing things with DH I am now glad to have a consult (finally, after all these years!) and hopefully find some answers. In April, I turn 37 and hubby turns 38, so I think it is best for us to at least discuss diagnoses and options ASAP, and then decide whether or not we plan to actively try again for Child #2 or not. Also, I want to ask for feedback regarding my cyst and whether or not the RE thinks it impacted my having a miscarriage, as my OB was vague and basically said she couldn't determine whether or not the two events were linked.

Weight Loss:
-Prior to the miscarriage, I was determined to lose weight this year. However, I got off to a lousy start and wasn't watching my food intake or exercising at all.

-Then my OB recommended that I work toward weight loss. She said whether or not I plan to get PG again in the future, weight loss would be best for my overall health. Of course I know she's right, but it's difficult to hear from someone else. (Especially someone as tiny and petite as my beautiful OBGYN is!)

-Anyway, DH has been off to an awesome weight loss start. For about 4 weeks now he's been back to running and exercising regularly along with watching his food intake. Though it has only been a week, I am finally on the band wagon. We made sure to buy lots of healthy food options at the grocery last week. Yesterday and today I've finally been exercising again. We used some of our tax return money to buy a Kinect for our XBOX this afternoon. Wowie, zowie....awesome workout! Em and I have played on it for several hours...I can't even tell you how sore my thigh and upper arm muscles are. Also, my sister got me an awesome Wii Dance game for Christmas that kicks my butt in a good way. :)

-I know from my past miscarriages and life in general that my emotions feel better when my body is more active. So I am determined to get more exercise. The difficulty is that on work days, this sometimes means I'll have to make my butt get up early and workout BEFORE work...because I am prone to skip workouts if I wait until I'm tired AFTER work. (Not to mention that DH doesn't get home from work until 7:30ish, so it makes for working out close to bedtime, unless I workout WITH Emma.)

To wrap up...as the black cloud over my department at work (hopefully) dissipates, I continue to work on getting my emotions back in check. I'm not as mopey as I was the week after the miscarriage and am starting to "move on." (Though I know, one never really "moves on" 100%.) A few weeks ago, I found a small card I've had since high school. I placed it on the iPod stand/speakers in our kitchen so I see it everyday: "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed...nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20) It helps to remind me that the black cloud won't always be here. Here's hoping for a silver lining, whatever that may be.

Friday Night "Leftovers" (Back-to-School Edition)

Whew! The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of back-to-school busy-ness.

The amazing, wonderful Danifred over at Sippycups are Not for Starbucks often hosts "Friday Night Leftovers" in which bloggers can post random list-like updates that don't necessarily pertain to only one topic.... I thought I'd bounce out of my blogging lull by joining in the fun.

So now the "Leftovers..." The things I've been experiencing and mulling over the past few weeks.

Family:
-Emma:
--Em started first grade! And she turns 7 in 2 weeks....Such a beautiful young lady inside and out. I am grateful for her each day and can't believe how quickly she is growing up. Sighs.
--She seems to be adjusting to first grade pretty well. She was disappointed the first few days of school because only 2 of the 18 students from her kindergarten class are in her 1st grade class this year. (One is the class bully who always had a desk by himself while the other kindergartners sat in tables of 4....the kid who punched Emma in the arm when I was sitting right beside her on the bus ride for the zoo field trip last year....GRRRRR! The other is a sweet, super quiet girl whose primary language is Spanish...she and Emma get along, but Em tends to play with more "extroverted" kids.) Her other former classmates were dispersed to other 1st grade classes.
--Today marks the end of week #2 of school and Emma has made friends and shared stories of playing and interacting with her new classmates.
--She is excited to have her own desk and own books/notebooks/supplies (versus "community" markers, etc.) this year. While the desks are pushed together to form "tables," she still has a bit of independence, which is right up her alley.
--Her school opted to instate a uniform policy this year. (Yes, it's a public school.) Navy, white, or red polo shirt or plain t-shirt with khaki or navy pants/shorts/skirt/jumper. Emma has made me smile with her individuality as she wears socks and hair accessories that don't necessarily "coordinate" with her school attire. But I must say thus far getting ready in the morning has been SOOOOO much easier! No more battles and trying to re-negotiate on outfits chosen the night before.

Pics of Emma's first day:


Not sure what the kid in the background is so "surprised" about.



Notice the skull socks? A gift from my older sister, Michelle. If I remember correctly, Emma was wearing a pink hair bow in the back of her hair. I love my girl!

DH:
--Our 13th wedding anniversary is this weekend. (Which means we've been "together" for 16 years total---wow! Nearly half of my lifetime!) I am so fortunate to have him as a life partner. He helps me through highs and lows, cooks better and more frequently than I do, is a superb daddy for our Emma, and helps me to be a better person. Love ya, Aaron!
--Continues to keep on keepin' on with his writing. While still marketing his novel trying to obtain a literary agent, he has started writing yet another novel...amazing. I continue to be awed by his perseverance.

Parents:
--My parents are coming to visit for Emma's birthday and are going to visit Disney World with us for two days! I am SOOOOO excited about this! They haven't been to Disney since I was a baby in the baby-pack on my Dad's back. I'm stoked to watch them interact with Emma while we show them around the parks. Emma has been watching and re-watching the Disney vacation planning DVD (free from the park website!) and talking non-stop about the rides and activities she wants to do with Grandma and Grandpa. Of course I always look forward to visiting with my parents, but this particular visit will likely have a special kind of magic. :)

Me:
-Work:
--We have a new 6th grade administrator this year. He has helped to initiate amazing changes at my school. Though only the end of the 2nd week, we've had the smoothest opening-of-school since I started working at this school. There is a sense of calm and structure instead of the frenzied chaos of the last 2 years. Crossing my fingers that it lasts all school year...
--This Monday when I arrived at work there was a vase of carnations on my desk. The attached card was from my principal. The card thanked me for being the reading department head and stated that "children grow to love learning thanks to (me.)" I was amazed...SO nice to be acknowledged! I confirmed at lunchtime that flowers were placed on the desks of all subject area department heads. What a wonderful beginning of the year gesture to thank us for the time and effort we put in for NO extra pay!

-SIF:
--I had planned to post and question whether anyone else had felt "OUCH" this week when seeing multiple F.acebook posts "supporting breast cancer awareness" by playing a posting game....The following is cut/pasted from multiple messages in my FB inbox:
Ok pretty ladies, it's that time of year again, in support of breast cancer awareness!! Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status' mean, keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in a message )this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!! I did my part... now YOUR turn! The idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the girls only and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round all over the world. So you'll write... I'm (your birth month) weeks and I'm craving (your birth date)!!! as your status.

Example: Feb 14th = I'm 2 weeks and craving Chocolate mints!!
January-1 week
Febuary-2 weeks July-10 weeks
March-3 weeks August-12 weeks
April-4 weeks September-13 weeks
May-6 weeks October-14 weeks
June-8 weeks November-16 weeks
December-18 weeks

(I'm not posting the super long 31 item list of candies and treats to "crave.")

If I had "played" along, I'd post: "I'm 4 weeks and craving Crunchies." First of all, I don't even know what the hell Crunchies are. Secondly, I was silently hurting a bit by reading about the multiple fake pregnancies of several FB friends. I fail to understand how posting and pretending to be PG is "supporting" breast cancer awareness. My 1st thought was that many cancer survivors are infertile due to the chemo and medications they endure to fight cancer. My 2nd thought was-- why are we are "NOT telling any males" about the "game?" How the heck can something promote awareness if you "hide" the purpose behind it? UGH. I had an internal rant (longer than this) ready to post. Then, I came across a blog, linked on FB by an old high school friend. I LOVE it. I completely agree with many of the author's points...

CGWardPhotography--Regarding the FB Breast Cancer Awareness Games

As much as we all hate to be part of the IF-world, it was nice to read that I am not the only person who found the "game" insensitive. What are your thoughts on the issue?

-Fun:
--Hopefully in the next few weeks I'll catch up....I have a cool "wax hand" post I need to write. I also need to update my books read list and postings.
--Off to start the 3 day weekend! :)


Edit: Upon blog-surfing this morning, I came across an entry today by the wonderful Mel over at Stirrup Queens. Another excellent post about how the cancer awareness games are hurtful to those experiencing infertility issues.

Nothing Too New

It's been awhile...

Emma:
The end of summer came and went. Emma and I spent our last day of summer vacation at the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine. We had a great time. She was especially thrilled to be able to pet and hold a small gator.



Her un-prompted pose on this one cracks me up.


The school year began with a whirlwind. Bringing Emma's 1st day of Kindergarten...








--Emma seems to be adjusting mostly well. Though, DH and I will likely schedule a parent conference in the next month. (Her Open House is on 9/23, so we're waiting until after then.) We have some concerns that she is getting in trouble behaviorally because she is bored and already knows all of the curriculum. (No major trouble, just talking and sometimes not following instructions.)

I am NOT trying to be a snotty Mom. But I have concerns. Daily work has consisted of counting to 10. (Em can count to 100+ by 1's, 5's, and 10's.) Daily work has consisted of learning the letters and their sounds. (Em has been reading Level 1 beginner readers and some Level 2's since last school year.) We've worried about this for a while...due to her age (she'll be 6 this week, the oldest in her class) she seems to be ahead of many of the students. I don't think they do "grade promotion" at such a young age, but I need to insure that the teacher is differentiating to help Emma make learning gains, rather than having an idle year.

Work:
--I'm hanging in there. 6th grade has been WAY tougher than I anticipated. (I have one 7th/8th grade mixed class, and then teach 6th graders the rest of the day.) Thus far, I am missing full-time 8th grade! Many of the 6th graders are super whiny and tattle ALL the time. Seriously! I can't believe the trivial stuff these kids feel the need to "tattle" about. We'll be in the middle of a class discussion, and kids will raise their hand to tell me someone stole their pencil. Kiddo, you need to HANDLE IT! I am donning my frigging Super Girl cape every day...and am hating that I need it so much. LOL. (My 5 year old knows to keep her hands off property that doesn't belong to her. It kills me I have to remind these 11-12 year olds daily.)

--There are also some really great kids. I've slowly been making phone calls home trying to introduce myself to parents and compliment the kiddos who are working hard...but it can be really difficult to find "phone call" time. One perk though....TONS of hugs. Wow, these kiddos are huggers. I get hugs nearly everyday when the kids leave my class. Too cute. :)

DH:
--We celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on the 5th. I continue to be ever grateful to have such a wonderful person to share my life (and Emma's upbringing) with!

--He is nearly finished with novel #3! WOWIE! Still crossing my fingers for him that he'll get agent representation to get published one of these days... He has been pretty unhappy with his job and would love it if he could write full-time someday.

Secondary Infertility:
--Went to re-scheduled OB appointment. I think I need to find a new OB. Which really bums me out.....
--I told OB that I feel like I'm in a never-ending cycle:

try to get pregnant--->not pregnant--->get depressed--->eat my woes away--->gain weight

start all over again...

I've been a plus size gal all of my adult life. However, I gained 12 pounds between my OB appointment in February and my appointment this summer. I have been depressed and eating myself silly. It's quite ridiculous. (And YES, I am disgusted with myself.)

OB's advice:
a. Semen analysis for DH (makes sense to "cover our bases")
b. I need to lose weight (I agree there is a definite need)
c. There is no C. A and B are it. Sighs.

--I am frustrated because I asked what OB thinks about anti-depressants. I have NEVER been on these nor admitted "need" for them before. This took A LOT for me to discuss. She does not recommend that I go on the anti-depressants since I'm still trying to get PG.

SERIOUSLY???????? HELLO....I haven't gotten PG in 4 years of "trying." And while a Baby's health would definitely be my #1 priority, I swear I've read things about "safe" medications to take while PG. Or I could go off depression meds once I became PG. Does anyone have feedback on this?

(EDIT: In re-reading this tonight I realized with a gulp that I did not include my miscarriage in January 2009 when I WAS pregnant.)

--My other issue is this...Being an overweight gal makes me at a high pregnancy risk. I understand this. However, correct me if I'm wrong---as an overweight woman I should NOT have issues GETTING pregnant. Weight can cause difficulty KEEPING a pregnancy, but NOT ACHIEVING it. This is a summary of what I've read and read. Thus, I was hoping for Clomid or something similar to help regulate my cycles. (And to help ensure that I ovulate regularly, as I had 2 months of the last 8 with no ovulation, and 1 month with a chemical pregnancy.) However, my OB doesn't want me to go on medication because my cycles are "mostly regular." I don't know what to think anymore.

Feedback anyone?

Books:
--Sighs, I still don't have the booklist on my sidebar updated. But I have been continuing to read. I finished (and liked very much) all 3 books of the Steig Larrson "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" series. I'm currently reading a great book (recommended by some of my readers) called, "The Middle Place" by Kelly Corrigan. It's about a 30-something gal who finds out she has cancer and must cope with dealing with her "new" family (hubby and 2 kids) and "old" family (parents and siblings.) It's been a really great read...and has had me both laughing or crying out loud at different points.

Blog:
--My 2 year blogoversary came and went this summer. Despite my infrequent posts, I continue to be grateful for the support and advice of my blog buddies.

--I fear I've been a crappy blog-friend lately. One of my co-workers is in the hospital (taken by ambulance from 1st period last week with chest pain---yikes!) I've been pulling her lesson plan load with substitutes along with dealing with all of the beginning-of-the year and back-to-school stuff I always conquer each August/September....thus I haven't had a lot of free time lately.

I HAVE been lurking and reading blogs...without commenting much. Please know I am thinking of you. And I've been FLOORED by the HUGE amount of PG blog buds lately. CONGRATS to all of you...and may your good luck rub off! ;) (Special shout out to Marie! And Happy Bday 9/18 to Mrs. Gamgee!)

<3 <3 <3

School Venting

Today was the first day of teacher pre-planning week. It was full of highs and lows...

Low: We were not given a schedule/agenda for the week until this morning. Despite being scheduled to work daily from 8-3 this week, we actually have very little "classroom time" (meaning time to prepare our classrooms and create lesson plans.) It is frustrating...many teachers moved classrooms and have a TON to do to be "ready."

High: For the first time I was one of "those" teachers. The ones who have a child accompanying them to school. The previous school years Emma has attended private pre-school/daycare, and thus when I went back to work at the end of summer, she returned to school too. This year, since she'll be in public school and on the same school schedule as I am, she went to pre-planning with me today. She was SOOOO well behaved! We had a 2 1/2 hour faculty meeting, during which Emma played quietly and colored in the back of the room. There was another little girl there who Em was able to play with a bit, and they behaved together...whew! After the faculty meeting and some training sessions, Emma was able to play and do "arts and crafts" in my classroom while I did some classroom work. I can't wait until she's older and I can put her to work with classroom preparations... ;)

Low: The guy who had my classroom last year (and resigned last May) left a TON of crap. File cabinet drawers full of old worksheets. Storage cupboards full of stuff. Desk drawers full of junk. I had to spend a lot of time moving his crap to the trash pile in the hallway in order to have room to unpack my stuff. After cleaning and scrubbing first, of course! Argh.

High: I will still have 7th period (last period) planning this year. Sweet! I love it!

Low: I am the only person in my department with THREE lesson plan preparations...meaning I will be teaching 3 different courses. Two people in my department have one prep. One person has two preps. Why can't the schedule gurus spread the load a bit? Seriously.

High: The new hire in my department was the department chair at her previous school. I think she will be very helpful and will share the load with me a lot more than the department guy who left at the end of last year. We've already been idea swapping...I am glad to finally have a collaborator like I did at my previous school.

Low: Our reading, math, and science FCAT scores dropped school-wide.

High: We still scored high enough to be considered an "A" school.

High: After 2 years, I finally have "friends" not just "co-workers at school. It makes a huge difference!

High: Though irritated about my multiple lesson preps, I am still excited to work with the Sys.tem 44 program for the first time this year. This is a S.cholastic program that was new to my county last year and correlates with the Read180 program I've been teaching for 4 years (and love!)

High: Though disgruntled about my multiple lesson preps, I am excited that I will have 6th, 7th, and 8th graders this year. (Two classes of 6th, and one 7th/8th mixed class.) I'm glad not to lose complete contact with 8 graders.

2010-11 school year....bring it on!

Saturday Randomness

ICLW: Welcome visitors! I appreciate you stopping by...

Date Night: Stacye (Adrian's Mom) graciously offered to babysit Em for her FIRST EVER overnight with a non-family member, so that DH and I could have a date night tonight. Ooh la la! I made reservations for the Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant we'd been wanting to try. We hadn't decided yet if we were going to go to a movie, or were just going to have some "alone" time at home. Em was excited to sleep at Adrian's house ("He has bunk beds!") Then this morning, we awoke to Murphy's Law of children... Em threw up multiple times and had diarrhea twice today, thus we had to cancel the sleepover. BUMMER! Luckily, she has been feeling better (and has even kept down some Spaghettios.) As I type this, we're in the living room where Em is watching "Up," DH is working on his book, and I read a book and a half today. (I'm on book 5 of L.J. Smith's Nightworld series now.)

School/Work: This past week was the last week of 2nd quarter. It's hard to believe the school year is already halfway over! I'm still carrying most of the load for my department, but I've managed to create a grading and lesson planning schedule for myself that has been working thus far. (I've had the last 2 weekends with NO school work....so as long as I don't have a plethora of meetings or conferences, I'm managing to stay ahead of the game.) We had a school-wide faculty meeting yesterday where we were informed that school-wide the majority of students are not showing enough "growth" on district tests, and we are therefore in danger of not having enough academic "gains" when our students take the state FCAT test in February and March. Sighs...it's difficult to determine what (if any) changes should be made in instruction in order to best meet the students' needs.

TTC: My friend MEB (who kicked IF's butt and is currently PG woot-woot!) loaned me her fertility monitor. Which brings me to a question for my lady friends (Gents, you can skip down to the next "bullet," to avoid TMI girly stuff.) Ladies---I've seen mixed info on this on the Internet and plan to ask my OB about it next month, but wanted some input. What do you consider as "Day 1" of your cycle? Do you count spotting as Day 1, or do you not count until your first day of full bleeding? I've been considering my first day of full bleeding as "Day 1," and am wondering if this is the most accurate or not.

I think that is all the latest here, so I leave you with some Emmaisms:

On states in close proximity:
"I wish Grandma and Grandpa lived in a state that was only like 5 minutes away. I wish we could see them more often." (Me too, Kiddo.) 1/8/10

On sexy vampires:
"Look, it's Mommy's boyfriend! Let's make fun of her favorite guy!" (regarding Robert/Edward and Kristin/Bella's pic from the Twilight soundtrack on DH's iphone.) (Oops...didn't know I'd been so obvious! Giggles.) 1/10/10

On helping others:
Em: "I did a good thing today."
Me: "You did?"
Em: "I found some moneys under my booster seat in Daddy's car and so I put it in my pocket. When I got to school I put the moneys in the thing to help the people in Haiti."
Me: That WAS a really nice thing to do!

(Did I mention, I love my sweet girl?) 1/20/10

And my most recent favorite... On global consumerism:

"I'm trying to find the 'Made in China' tag so I can cut it out of the dress." 1/17/10

(For the record, it turned out the dress was actually made in Sri Lanka...)

Life Updates

Life Updates...

Emma: Her reading skills astound me each day. I LOVE hearing her read stories! It has been wonderful for me to experience firsthand many of the reading components I learned about during my reading-teacher course curriculum. Em's teacher and school use the Beka learning program which teaches phonics. Em constantly "sounds out" words wherever we go. I am a HUGE phonics advocate. Many of my 8th grade students don't have the same skills Emma already has. Due to being taught with the "Whole Language" style (wherein students memorize sight words, rather than learning letter sounds and blend sounds) I have many students who struggle with "word attack" and have NO idea how to break words into syllables or how to determine root words and affixes. It is awesome seeing Emma's early success and witnessing the beauty of phonics in action.

DH: Is currently working on a children's series. He never thought he'd want to write for a young audience, but thus far he has really enjoyed it. I'm thrilled he has been writing so much. Since graduating from college, DH has never had a job that truly used his skills...I'm glad he is putting his "smarts" to good use...and in a way that he finds gratifying.

Work/School: Continues to be cumbersome, but I DID manage to get 3 weeks of lesson plans done last weekend so that I could have this weekend totally OFF. Sweet! DH and I mostly finished turning Em's old room into an office area yesterday. Now DH has a writing nook! :)

I've used the 3-day weekend to get TONS of cleaning and laundry done. You know---all the deep cleaning stuff I should've done during winter break, but spent lots of time in my PJs reading and playing online B.oggle cooking with Emma and her new E.asybake Oven instead.

TTC: The doctor's office called to say they needed to re-schedule my appointment, as the CPN my appointment was scheduled with left their practice at the beginning of the year. I was a little annoyed with having to re-schedule. However, my re-scheduled appointment (on Feb. 16th) is with the head of the practice who is also the awesome OB that delivered Em. (The appointment is for my annual checkup, plus fertility counseling.) I guess at this point, what's another month of waiting?

MLK, Jr. Today Em and I are home from school. I'm babysitting her good buddy, Adrian while his parents are at work. Thank you MLK, Jr. and all the others who contributed toward making multi-racial friendships possible. Em and Adrian have been good buddies since they were less than a year old.


Big smiles...


Adrian on the monkeybars.


Emma's Turn. (Note the shirt I got for her at OU last summer, "I love OHIO this much!"


Crossing together...

I've enjoyed spending the day with them. Conversations between 5 year olds...SO precious! Let freedom ring!

School Stuff

Evaluation: Had meeting with my principal this week regarding my yearly evaluation. We already had a post-observation conference a few weeks ago. This week's meeting was to actually sign the paperwork that gets submitted to the county.

His comments included:--"Teacher conducts comprehension checks on a regular basis. Teacher provides goals and objectives to students on which they are assessed."
--"Knowledge of subject matter is extensive."
--"Teacher is sensitive to students' needs and willing to reteach. Classroom is neat and attractive and reflects teacher's organization. Teacher treats all students with utmost respect."
--"Teacher is proactive in communicating with parents."
--"Has done an outstanding job as department head."
--And FINALLY for the FIRST TIME...since I recently completed all of my necessary certification requirements, I finally qualify for performance pay! Yea! (Though sadly, this is mostly based on how my students score on the FCAT exam.)

Budget: We had a faculty meeting on Tuesday. The principal gave each teacher a list of the jobs/supplies/software/utilities, etc. which the school pays for each year. We were asked to "balance the budget" and submit our ideas to him. Our school is losing over $240,000 next school year. We have already been told we will lose at least one faculty member, as the district will no longer be funding the position.


Job Cuts: County-wide, many teaching jobs will be cut. Several teachers will be part of the "RIF" (reduction in force) process. With my 6 years, I should be able to stay at my current school. I have more seniority with the county than 2 of the 4 reading teachers here have. The scary thing is that if someone within the county has higher seniority than I do and is RIFed from their school, it is possible they could "bump" me from my position. Our principal has assured us he'll do all he can to keep this from happening. However, there are no guarantees.

FCAT: This week students completed the reading and math portions of the FCAT exam. Science FCAT will be this coming Monday. I am soooo ready for testing to be over. Between the full moon, beautiful weather (it's been unseasonably warm in the 80's here this week!), Friday the 13th, and near end of the quarter, my students are extremely wound up this week!

Overall, I am hanging in there...just really, really, really ready for Spring Break! March 30th - April 1st can't get here soon enough. :)

Moving On

School: The dreaded FCAT testing for students occurs this coming Tues 3/10 (reading), Weds 3/11 (math), and the following Mon 3/16 (science). I think my students are prepared. I have some concern due to my principal telling me the gains the reading students had last year were not as significant as he hoped. As I wasn't at this school last year, I am not certain how much "growth" he is expecting. I think there is a conflict because many of my students have already had a year or more lexile growth, as gauged by the Read180 software program used in my classroom. However, this growth may not be good enough for them to score well on the FCAT. The problem (as I see it) is when students are low level readers (I have some that began the year as low as a 1st or 2nd grade reading level,) then even if they make great strides, it is still not "enough" for them to pass a test that is written on an 8th grade level. Bleck! Blasted FCAT! I hate that there is so much emphasis on one test...I'll get off my soap-box now.

Online Community: Thanks in part to the Stirrup Queen's amazing list of miscarriage/infantloss/infertility/adoption etc. blogs, I have connected with many amazing women. I consider myself part of the "Secondary Infertility" group. I have soooo appreciated having women I can relate to. And while this blog is still MY outlet, and written mostly for ME, I have to be honest...comments are wonderful. It's great knowing there are people "checking in" with me. Thank you, dear readers. :)

Quick Update--Jury Duty: After being narrowed down from a group of 400 potential jurors to 50 to 35, I was NOT selected for the final jury of 7. I did enjoy my day of "jury duty," and actually ended up hoping I'd be selected for the trial, because the whole process was so interesting. Maybe next time...

Quick Update--Black History Month Choir: I participated in a "faculty choir" for my school's Black History Month presentation. It was great fun, and I even ended up with a solo. We sang Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie's "We Are the World." The students LOVED it. I had a blast! I sang in choirs from elementary school through college, but haven't really done anything (except an occasional karaoke) since graduating from college. It was fun!

Health: I took a sick day today and went to the doctor. Received a RX for nasal spray and an antibiotic. I'm glad I went, as I was diagnosed with sinusitis, but Dr said it would likely have turned into an ear infection if I had waited it out another day. (I had an ear infection last fall---NOT fun.)

Sighs...felt a little "ouch" when I had to complete the "# of pregnancies" and "# of live children" blanks on the admission paperwork. Prior to my miscarriage I never really thought about these items. How do people who have actually endured the DEATH of a child handle these type of situations? Is it sick that I felt a little grateful that I had "a miscarriage" and was not further along? Gulp.

Last week I had my first cycle since my January miscarriage. I guess this means my body is moving on??

Disney Bound

Disney: What do the Andersons do when tax refund money is here and we need a weekend "escape?" We head to Disney World! This weekend, we'll be going to the Magic Kingdom for a day. I am looking forward to it. The visit will be Emma's 3rd time at the park...her last visit was in March of last year. I'm a little bummed that WDW isn't having the Pirate and Princess Party this year. Last spring we enjoyed it very much. However, they apparently have a Spectramagic light parade followed by fireworks, so we'll try to fit in one or both of these events instead. (Though in the past we've used fireworks time for riding rides---we were able to stay on the Pirates of the Caribbean boat and ride 2x in a row, able to get on Dumbo with no wait, ride Space Mountain multiple times without waiting, etc.)

Emma is finally tall enough to ride nearly everything. I look forward to experiencing Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain with her for the first time. We've been watching You Tube videos of people riding the coasters and she is really excited. She also has a "Disney Land Sing-A-Long" video she looooves to watch before we go to WDW. (The video shows kids singing and riding rides at the park.)

I sooooo love Walt Disney World! (If this makes me pathetic, I'm willing to be on the list.)

February Birthday Shout-outs:
My sister Michelle 2/10
My nephews Summy and Jack 2/15
My father-in-law and cousin Aimee 2/23

Jury Duty: Next Monday 2/23, I have jury duty. I am hoping I am not selected for a long term trial. As much as I think the judicial trial process would be neat, it is the FCAT time of year and I'd hate to miss so much school. (The actual test is the week of March 10th, so we are in "FCAT prep mode" big time.) Also, planning for a long-term substitute would be awful. So, I'm crossing all phalanges that I am not chosen.

Lagging: I've been behind on blogging and on checking my email. Hopefully I'll get caught up Sunday night...

Emotions: I seem less blue and more in the swing of things this week. (Is it the Disney adventure I'm anticipating?) I joined the faculty choir at my school. We are in a school presentation next week for Black History Month. I love singing...it's such a pick-me-up. I have a solo in the presentation. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy performing, as it's been a while.

Substitute: We're leaving after school tomorrow to drive to Orlando. We'll stay in a hotel tomorrow night, do the Disney park all day Saturday, stay in the hotel again Saturday night, do Downtown Disney on Sunday morning, and return home to Jacksonville Sunday afternoon. (WDW is about 2 1/2 hours from where we live in Jax.)

I'm at school right now to prepare for my jury-duty-on-Monday substitute. Guess I should get back to work...

In the words of my friend, Mickey Mouse, "See ya real soon!" :)

Yearly Evaluation

School/The Good: Woo-hoo! I'm at school during my planning period. I just finished my post-observation conference with my principal.

As this is my first year at this school, this was my first formal observation by this principal. Quotes on my observation assessment include:
"Noticeable gains" regarding my students' reading levels.
Teacher shows "high fidelity toward Read180."
And my personal favorite, "outstanding rapport with students." Hooray for me! :)

School/The Bad:
Continuing my county's bass-ackwards way of coordinating language arts with reading, I just this morning received the 3rd quarter "curriculum pacing guide" for language arts. (3rd quarter started 2 weeks ago on 2/20.) Sighs. At least it's only 3 weeks late this time...1st quarter we waited nearly 4 1/2 weeks for any curriculum. My department and I are getting good at "winging it" without formal plans.

School/In General:
Florida is making HUGE educational budget cuts for next year. Duval County is voting on many policy changes by the end of this month. I have decided to stay at my current school for 2 main reasons: 1. Job security (I know they need reading teachers here, and I am not "lowest" on the totem pole so would not be cut if a reading teacher does have to be laid off.) 2. As much as the ELA/Read180 combination gets on my nerves, it is more important to me to be at a school with a principal and faculty I believe in. :)
Possible budget cut ideas include:
--Changing student hours so they only attend school 9:30 - 3:30. Teachers would continue to attend 9:15 - 4:15 with all planning periods being held before or after school. This would save $$$ because they could cut teachers. By not having planning periods during the school day, ALL teachers would be teaching at ALL times. There would not be "planning" periods when teachers would be off duty and getting paid. (Note: I think this is ridiculous! Florida is already falling behind much of the nation with regards to public education. I can't believe they are actually considering sending our students LESS time than average. Ugh!)
--Changing bus routes to only students who live 2 miles or farther from school. (Right now it's a mile and a half.)
--Mandated cuts of art and music classes (Note: I also think this is ridiculous. Research has shown how much students benefit from art and music. Why are they always the first to go?)
--We've already been told our school will move from 4 assistant principals to 3. It is possible we'll also have to move from 2 guidance counselors to 1.
-- Possible change of employee benefits to a contributory health care system. (Grateful I have DH for insurance. My single teacher friends are freaking out!)

DH: His first day as a supervisor was this past Saturday. I had to chuckle when he told Emma last night, (after she asked him to "come here" for the 100th time) "I'm not going to get up 87,000 times...I'll be doing that all week long." HAHAHAHA! I wanted to say, "Try being a teacher!" We never get to work without being interrupted... But I held it in.

Gotta run, my planning is almost over.

New Look

The Blog: I LOVE scrapbooking, but haven't done many layouts since Emma was born (due to time and space constraints---I used to scrap in what is now Emma's bedroom.) Part of why I enjoy blogging is it provides an opportunity for me to journal and create an online "scrapbook" of sorts. I have been wanting to create a "scrapbooky" type layout for my blog for a while, but didn't have the time to devote to changing my layout. This weekend, I spent a few hours adding "embellishments" to my sidebar, changing my background and color scheme. Yes, I know I have a daughter (who favors pink and purple) whom is much of what I blog about, but as green and blue are MY favorite colors, and this is MY blog, I went with a layout/color scheme for ME. :)

The World: Barack Obama was sworn in as our 44th president last week. Hooray! I am ecstatic about this and believe that with time he will lead our country through many positive changes.

School: My yearly observation by my principal is scheduled for this Wednesday. I am not nervous. I know I perform my job adequately. Though this is my first observation at this school and by this principal, I anticipate that I will do well. What I am feeling a little crumby about is that between my miscarriage and a horrible headcold, I am still not at 100%, which means I'm not giving 100% at school...I hate that. As a mother, I love knowing my daughter goes to school each day with a teacher who is fair, loving, and who challenges her. I hate that I am not back at that level for my students yet. I am getting there...and it's not like I'm slacking and doing nothing. I just know that my heart hasn't been "in it" the past few weeks, and I haven't been giving as much as I usually do. Sighs... I'm working on it

I'm still struggling as I try to decide whether or not I want to remain at my current school next year. Pros: 1. I like my principal and the faculty a lot 2. The students are MUCH better behaved than those at my prior school 3. Distance to/from home and to/from Em's school/daycare is a 20-min or less commute 4. I have access to much more supplies than I did at my prior school Cons: 1. I hate my classroom. It doesn't have windows and is a dreary blue/gray/green color. 2. I still hate that I am teaching reading AND language arts (and an elective.) Yes, I am certified as both a language arts and reading teacher. But I spent the past 3 years taking courses so that I could teach reading. Last year for the first time, I finally felt passionate about my subject matter (READING) instead of just being passionate about helping my students. Sighs. This year with my school combining language arts and reading...I am not happy. I do not feel I have adequate time to differentiate instruction for my low level readers. The time I used to spend on more specific instruction is now devoted to planning for language arts... So that's it. The pros outweigh the cons. But my main con is a biggie. So I am still contemplating.

Health: My OB's office left a message on Friday saying that my Beta levels were at 3 with the bloodwork I had drawn on Tuesday 1/20. This means I am not in any danger zone. Peanut miscarried fully and as anticipated, I will not have to have a D&C. This Tuesday I go for a follow up appointment during which time I should learn whether or not we have the go ahead to "try again," or if other recommendations will be made.

I'm starting to move on emotionally...though sometimes things still tug at my heartstrings. Our garage is full of baby items that we are storing for use with Kid#2...a highchair, baby swing, infant carseat, Rubbermaid containers filled with Emma's old baby and little girl clothes, etc. When I went out to the garage this week it was a sad reminder that Peanut is gone. But mostly, I have been able to keep my chin up and hope that things advance quickly and that I am given the go-ahead to try to become pregnant again.

And though optimistic, I hate that I know if I become pregnant again it won't be happy and blissful like my pregnancy with Emma. It will be a time of joy, but also of great worry. Miscarriage will always be at the back of my mind now. I pray that I don't second-guess myself and my decisions throughout my pregnancy if I become pregnant again. I know I need to wait to cross the bridge when I get there, but I am concerned about how I will feel...especially in those critical early weeks.

DH: DH got a promotion at work which will go into effect next month. He'll be in a supervisory role over a team of workers who does sales/support phone calls like he does now. He seems excited about it, and I'm happy for him.

Emma: My little sweetie continues to be a bundle of joy. Without knowing about Peanut, her smile, hugs, and "arts and craps" have helped me immensely in the past few weeks. Yesterday we went to a birthday party for one of her schoolmates. It was held at a local skating rink. It was the first time I have rollerskated...I think since high school. Emma and I were wobbling and holding hands. We had only made it halfway around the rink when they cleared the floor for a game of "Red Light-Green Light." Doh! We watched the game. Emma commented that we weren't able to skate as fast as the people playing the RLGL game. Then she took off her skates so she could play in the playyard area instead. We never skated again. Bummer. I was actually looking forward to it!

Emmaisms: I've been in a funk, so haven't been writing Emmaisms as I usually do. Here are a few that I did write down:

1/25/09: On urinating: "My pee just sounded like a shower! I went potty and there was a lot and it sounded like the shower was on!"

1/24/09: On adulthood: "Mommy, someday when you and Daddy move, can I live in this house until I have a baby and a husband?"

1/5/09: On Christmas Gifts for the Future: "Do you know what I want more than anything for Christmas next year? Perfume! Like a skunk!"

Found this oldie but goodie while tidying up our computer desk. 10/30/08 On happiness: While watching The Sound of Music, "Mommy, sometimes when people sing, my heart feels happy!"

'Tis the Season

'Tis the Season...

Only one more week until winter break! I can't wait to have my yearly reflection time. Each year I like to stay up late after everyone has gone to bed. I turn on the Christmas tree lights, grab a cup of cocoa or tea and stare at the tree and let my thoughts wander over the past year...over family and friends far and near...over my job...it is quiet "ME" time. I started doing this with our tree in high school and have continued the trend into adult hood. I usually spend at least 2 or 3 nights during the season reminiscing...

School: Whose idea was it to give Benchmark tests this week? Though grateful they didn't require us to give them the week before winter break, testing on the Thurs and Fri before the last school week of the year was still rough. My kiddos were very easily distracted. I do have to say that they behaved/tested much better than I expected. However the down time between testing sessions was rough.

Speaking of rough, I have a student who needs prayers/positive thoughts sent his way. He is going through a lot of heavy issues at home. He trusts and confides in me, which I think is great...and then I feel so heartbroken that he doesn't have support at home. I've been praying that his parents will wake up and realize what a great person he is. But mostly, I've been praying that he will realize his own self-worth. How I'd love to see him enter my classroom with his head up and hair brushed out of his eyes, instead of his un-confident demeanor. Poor baby!

Friends: This week I reconnected with an old friend. M-E was literally the first girlfriend I met in Florida. She trained me to take over her position at Child Guidance Center when I got my first post-college job (and she was leaving to go to another agency.) We've been in touch off and on through the years, even working at the same agency for a while when I was still doing social work. The last few years our contact has been mostly via email. This week we met for a girls-night-out dinner. It was great to reconnect and catch up. (M-E---if you're reading, thanks soooo much for being so candid and especially for sharing about your IVF issues!)

More School: We got new laptops at my school this past Wednesday! Hooray! I upgraded from a Lenovo R50 to a Lenovo R500. SOOOOO much faster, I am loving it! Also, the screen is about an inch larger, which is great. What I am super thankful for is that this program has enough capacity to hold the Read180 software on it. I can finally conference with my students and show them immediate scores instead of having to print out reports to discuss. Hooray!

Emma: Em finally sat on Santa's lap for the first time! She has been terrified and we've never had a Santa picture with her before. Sadly, this occurred on her class field trip to the mall, so DH and I didn't get to see it first hand. (Her class went on a field trip to the mall for a Santa visit, lunch, and a train ride.) She was SO proud of herself for being "brave" and posing for a picture this year. She said she told Santa that she wants "Barbies" for Christmas. Barbies have consistently been her gift preference when friends or family have asked her what is on her wish list. (DH did some Santa shopping this week and purchased some neat things including a "Barbie: My House Playset" which includes a bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom w/ laundry.)

DH: I just found out that DH is off the 23rd-25th. I'm glad he has more than just the 25th off, as he could use some "downtime." :)

I think that is all the latest...

Catching Up...

Hopefully when winter break starts in 2 weeks, I'll be able to catch up (and keep up!) with my blog.

Until then, some quick news....

AT&T has announced they'll be laying off 12,000 employees. Thus far, this does not effect DH or the center where he works here in Jacksonville. They were told that the 12,000 layoffs will occur throughout 2009...so we are hoping the economy doesn't worsen so that jobs in Jax are not impacted.

My friend Stacye sent me a cute email link: http://www.aaasouth.com/newsletter/1205/santa/santaletter.asp

When you go to the site, you can click on a template to complete a quick letter FROM Santa. It even includes a small Santa "mailing stamp" you can print and stick on the envelope. I completed the template and printed it out at school, then stuck it in an envelope with a Santa "stamp." When Emma and I checked the mail after arriving home from school I was able to sneak the letter into the mail pile. Em was SOOO excited to receive a letter from Santa that mentioned, "Mrs. Claus and I have been watching and are very proud that you help feed Viggo, clean your room, and have green behavior days at school." Emma's jaw literally dropped and she said, "I can't believe it!" She was so tickled. It was great.

Best news of the week: I received e-mail confirmation from my teacher this afternoon that I successfully completed my Reading Endorsement Competency 6 class. HOORAY! This means that I am FINISHED with the 6 classes I need for reading, and can now add "Reading K-12" to my professional teaching certificate. Whew...3 years of work is finally done! I am ecstatic!

Other good news: My school is in the pilot program to start using an online gradebook system. Because most of our laptops are outdated, we had to turn in all of our teacher laptops yesterday. We'll be getting NEW laptops on Monday! (Still no word on if they'll be Macs or PCs....but I'll take a new anything compared to the old piece of junk I just turned in!) We'll start the gradebook program in January. Word on the street is that it will be a district requirement for all schools to use this program starting next August. I'm glad we'll have training and be used to the program ahead of time!

Meghan---sorry, no extra time (and not exactly sure how!) to do your "tag" this time. I'll look into it during break. I'm sooo behind on reading/commenting on other blogs, I'm going to use time to do that instead. :)

Only 10 school days left until winter break...

Pumpkin Patch

We went to a Pumpkin Patch yesterday and selected 2 nice pumpkins. Yes, it's the week before Halloween, so things were somewhat picked over. However this is the first Saturday DH has had off in a while. It was a nice family outing. I missed the pumpkin patch we went to last year---complete with Hay Ride, corn maze, etc. But it is an hour drive, Emma has a bad cold, and DH and I didn't feel up to going back this year. So the "pumpkin patch" we went to was the front lawn of a church. Luckily, Em was excited about it...and that's what the outing meant for.

Em and I made a jack-o-lantern yesterday with one pumpkin, and she and Aaron will create one with the other pumpkin today. It was my first experience using jack-o-lantern stencils---I was pleasantly surprised at how easy they are to use. I was really pleased with the way our jack-o-lantern turned out. I am NOT artistic...and the stencils were easy to use and worked well. And by the way---the brand new stencil kits and pumpkin carving utensils were left in my classroom by the prior teacher. Hahahaha. My labor this summer cleaning her crap is paying off in free Halloween decor. :) I'll try to get pics tonight and post them one of these days...

Fall is finally here. We've had the A.C. off and windows open for a few weeks now, but it sure is grand to have nice crisp weather outside. I love this time of year! It's not COLD...I detest the cold. But it is cool enough for long sleeves/pants and no sweltering heat. Love the colored leaves. Love the smell of fireplaces. Love the Halloween and Thanksgiving decor. Love the cooking smells...Em and I made cinnamon muffins this morning and DH has chili cooking on the stove now. Yummy autumn aromas!

School is still the same...I'm unhappy with the Read180/ELA combination. I attended a committee meeting on Friday in which several teachers and I complained that 30 minutes/day of language arts is NOT adequate. Basically we were met with, "nothing can be done this year, but we're noting your demands so things can be different next school year." Not very promising seeing as we just finished 1st quarter. Sighs.

On a positive note---DH only worked a 1/2 day last Saturday. He and Em then went on an outing the rest of the day so I could work, work, work. I finished my 20+ page paper for my Comp 6 class! It's not due until December. This was a huge load off my shoulders. Now I just have to video tape my 5 lessons and write a "video reflection" for each one and then I will be done. My goal is to be finished before Thanksgiving...I'd like to be "free" during the 4-day weekend. God knows I need some down time!

Two recent Emmaisms:
10/13/08 While looking at one of DH's hockey jersey's "C-C-M. That spells hockey!" CCM Sports is the company who makes hockey jerseys. :)

10/22/08 At MyGym last week, the kiddos were asked what their favorite candy to get for trick-or-treating is. Emma responded, "Tic Tacs." LOL! I'm not sure what made her say this...but I know that my little chocolate lover would choose chocolate candy before TicTacs any day of the week.

Struggles and Shout-Outs

First---Some recent pics
Two weekends ago Em and I went to the Jacksonville Zoo. There is a rope ladder in the play yard that I'm guessing is about 8-10 feet high. Previously, I would not allow Em to climb higher than I can reach. This time I gave in, and allowed her to climb to the top. Which she did again, and again and again...total of 5 times. I was SOOO paranoid about her falling. Em is a pretty good climber, but there were other kids who would come into the rope ladder and sway it back and forth while she was climbing...scary! It was one of those moments as a Mom where I knew it was important to give Em her independence...even though it hurt ME a little bit on the inside. :)



Just under the halfway point


At the top, climbing off the rope and onto the platform.


They have also added a new sandbox area with a tarp, so that it is completely shaded. Em had a blast. I'm going to have to speak to Santa...once our fence is installed (Nov. 20th is our install date!) I'm thinking a swingset and small sandbox would be nice backyard additions.


Last weekend Em and I picnicked at the Ft. Caroline/Timucuan Preserve site and then walked the nature trail.


View of a barge we saw across the river


Ft. Caorline


"Take a picture of me with the 4 sign, 'cause I'm 4."
(The nature trail had numbered signs throughout the trail from 1-20 or so.)
(By the way...Emma's expression in this peek-a-boo picture SO reminds me of my sister Laurel.)


Sign hugger



A stump on the nature trail.


Hut replica of the Timucuan homes.

Some recent struggles:

In sad news I learned that one of my former students was killed last week. He was shot in the face in a robbery attempt. Sadly, police found a gun in his belt/waistband as well. Thomas was 16. When I taught him 2 years ago he was frequently in trouble at school...and actually quite a jerk to most teachers (myself included.) He also bullied other students. We tried to have meetings with parents, but didn't feel support from the home. Well...maybe that's not fair. Mom attended the meetings and I do think she tried. This was truly a kid who did what he wanted when he wanted...with little regard for anyone else. Eventually, he left my old school due to being placed in an "alternative school" setting (school for students with multiple behavior offenses.) Thomas has been on my mind a lot this week. It is a conundrum that may never be answered: Did the "system" fail him? Or was he unwilling to partake in the services available to him? Still, I wouldn't wish his fate on anyone.

Along with my lesson-plans-are-time-consuming- struggles, I've also been learning about co-teaching. This is my first year with inclusion teachers working with me in my classroom. They are WONDERFUL! I have been grateful for their help and support. The inclusion teachers at my school travel with a particular class and are with the students all day, as the students are integrated into "regular" classes. Thus, at least 50% of both of my Read180/ELA classes are comprised of ESE students. The inclusion teachers enable me to have more differentiated instruction because I am able to divide the class into sub-groups to focus on specific learning skills. However, my difficulty is in orchestrating what occurs in my classroom. At times there are 4 adults in the room: myself, the inclusion instructor, an ESOL teacher to help my non-English speaking student, and a language arts teacher who was asked to help our class to ensure that our Read180/ELA kids are having similar lessons as non-reading-student ELA kids. Yikes! Everyone is kind and helpful, but it is sometimes a pain to determine who-does-what. When I used to teach ESE, I had a paraprofessional in my room 1 or 2 periods a day. But it has been years since I was the only adult in the room. So again, while my colleagues are great...there are times I wish I could run a solo or duet ship, instead of a quartet...not because I don't want the help...but because it takes a long time to figure out what everyone will be facilitating!

My prior school hours were 7:35 - 2:35. My new/current school hours are 9:15 - 4:15. Last year I would stay after school for 2-3 hours each day. It was wonderful because I would get lots of school work done. I did not allow myself to bring school-work home, except on rare occasions. Sighs! Though my schedule this year is much better for Emma (she is no longer cranky and crying in the a.m. Now she is wide awake and waving at the window when I leave,) it is SO hard for me to get work done. I have been getting to school early and staying a little late. But with Em's daycare schedule, I have to leave work by 5:30 at the latest. Thus the problem is time. The 3 hours a day after school last year outnumber the 1 hour before and 1 hour after school I am getting this year. I have had work to do at home nearly every weekend thus far this school year. YUCK!

On a positive note, some "Shout Outs" for people/things I've appreciated recently:

Emma received a Halloween card in the mail this week. It had 3 Disney princesses dressed up with glitter/sparkles on their dresses. Em rubbed her fingers across the glitter and said, "It doesn't just look beautiful, it feels beautiful too!" Thanks, Beckstrom family!

I received a snail-mail handmade thank you card from my friend, Shannon Kay. Thanks, Shan for the lovely card. And you're most welcome for the turtle. :) (Thanks, Lal for delivering it, as well!)

Shout out to my friend Stacye, for researching and finding the location of a MyGym and class times for Em and Adrian to attend. They are both enjoying it very much. And Adrian's birthday party will be there next month. Should be a great time! :)

Shout out to my Mom---months ago she sent Emma rebus books. Em finally really grasps the concept and LOVES the books. I think they help her to feel that she is part of the book reading. She especially enjoys the Scooby-Doo Meets Big Foot rebus book. (Seeing as Scooby has been my favorite cartoon character for years, this book is right up my alley too!)

DH's Dad/Emma's Papa---THANK YOU! He has been babysitting Emma on the nights I have my class. In the past when he babysat Em, I would pick Em up from school/daycare and take her to his house. My new school schedule does not allow me to do this, so Papa has been picking her up AND babysitting AND feeding her dinner before DH or I pick her up. THANK YOU, PAPA!