Wednesday, October 14, 2009


ARRRRGH! That is how I'm feeling today....

--School: I don't get alone time in my classroom. During my planning period one of the teachers who has too many students in her Read180 class, sends students to my room to use the computers. It's only 1 or 2 students, but still frustrating to not have time to decompress, turn up my music, etc. like I would if I were alone in the room.

--After school there is a teacher and group of students in my room for the after school tutoring program. They are nice kids, respectful towards me and the room. I know it could be much's just that I don't have MY OWN SPACE anymore. (This should be resolved in a few weeks once the A.C. in the other teacher's room is fixed.)

--Weather: 93 Degrees. Record setting temperatures this week. What the heck??? It is autumn now, NOT summer. Mother nature, if you could please cooperate and cool down a bit, I'd really appreciate it.

--Exercise: I am feeling blecky and I know part of that is due to my complete and total lack of exercise since the school year started kicking my butt. Sighs....gotta force myself to fit some kind of work out back into my life. (Pathetic moment of the week: I ate a D.airy Queen D.illybar IN BED while watching "The Biggest Loser" last night. Good grief!)

--Family Dynamics: I don't know if DH is overwhelmed with his novel, or what. His Dad called a few times last week to check on Em. DH didn't bother to call back. This drives me nutty... I think it is disrespectful.

--Babies: I'm tired of wanting another child and not getting PG. I'm tired of friends hurting from longing for a child. I'm tired of second guessing myself and wondering if I'm not PG because God or Fate or Karma or Whatever think I would suck at having 2 kids. I'm tired of thinking, "I wish she had a sibling" during times when Emma is whiny and/or struggling when she doesn't get things her way. Why can't I just be content with what I have?

--Oh the I read the disgruntled tone of this message, I think much of it is due to P.M.S. Drat!

(Thanks, Dear Readers....a more cheerful tone next time, I promise.)


Shelli said...

I thought I was the only one snacking while watching the Biggest Loser! lol.

Nothing wrong with a little venting now and then!

Beautiful Mess said...

I was in FULL PMS mode yesterday. I was so pissy. Over things I had no business being pissy over, too. Hope today gets better for ya, love.

Barb said...

I applaud you for being a teacher. I know I could never do that ~ just don't have the patience.

Also I completely understand the stress/anger at wanting to increase your family. Went through all kinds of infertility stuff for years. Have two beautiful (adopted) children who were meant to be mine!

Danifred said...

There is something about BL that makes me want to eat. It's just bizarre.
Hang in there with everything, I do know how you are feeling with not having your own space... I've been feeling like that alot lately.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I've got nothing - just big hugs for you. I hate those days when it feels like the entire world is ganging up on you. I hope you are feeling better soon.

And I am so sorry that the road to conceive another child is so bumpy. I think of you often, and hope that a baby is in your future.

Sunny said...

I am feeling emotional/hormonal for a different reason, but I've been a ball of mess for the past couple of days myself. Let's be disgruntled together -- pass the dillybar and fire up the DVR!