Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Nothing Too New

It's been awhile...

The end of summer came and went. Emma and I spent our last day of summer vacation at the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine. We had a great time. She was especially thrilled to be able to pet and hold a small gator.

Her un-prompted pose on this one cracks me up.

The school year began with a whirlwind. Bringing Emma's 1st day of Kindergarten...

--Emma seems to be adjusting mostly well. Though, DH and I will likely schedule a parent conference in the next month. (Her Open House is on 9/23, so we're waiting until after then.) We have some concerns that she is getting in trouble behaviorally because she is bored and already knows all of the curriculum. (No major trouble, just talking and sometimes not following instructions.)

I am NOT trying to be a snotty Mom. But I have concerns. Daily work has consisted of counting to 10. (Em can count to 100+ by 1's, 5's, and 10's.) Daily work has consisted of learning the letters and their sounds. (Em has been reading Level 1 beginner readers and some Level 2's since last school year.) We've worried about this for a while...due to her age (she'll be 6 this week, the oldest in her class) she seems to be ahead of many of the students. I don't think they do "grade promotion" at such a young age, but I need to insure that the teacher is differentiating to help Emma make learning gains, rather than having an idle year.

--I'm hanging in there. 6th grade has been WAY tougher than I anticipated. (I have one 7th/8th grade mixed class, and then teach 6th graders the rest of the day.) Thus far, I am missing full-time 8th grade! Many of the 6th graders are super whiny and tattle ALL the time. Seriously! I can't believe the trivial stuff these kids feel the need to "tattle" about. We'll be in the middle of a class discussion, and kids will raise their hand to tell me someone stole their pencil. Kiddo, you need to HANDLE IT! I am donning my frigging Super Girl cape every day...and am hating that I need it so much. LOL. (My 5 year old knows to keep her hands off property that doesn't belong to her. It kills me I have to remind these 11-12 year olds daily.)

--There are also some really great kids. I've slowly been making phone calls home trying to introduce myself to parents and compliment the kiddos who are working hard...but it can be really difficult to find "phone call" time. One perk though....TONS of hugs. Wow, these kiddos are huggers. I get hugs nearly everyday when the kids leave my class. Too cute. :)

--We celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on the 5th. I continue to be ever grateful to have such a wonderful person to share my life (and Emma's upbringing) with!

--He is nearly finished with novel #3! WOWIE! Still crossing my fingers for him that he'll get agent representation to get published one of these days... He has been pretty unhappy with his job and would love it if he could write full-time someday.

Secondary Infertility:
--Went to re-scheduled OB appointment. I think I need to find a new OB. Which really bums me out.....
--I told OB that I feel like I'm in a never-ending cycle:

try to get pregnant--->not pregnant--->get depressed--->eat my woes away--->gain weight

start all over again...

I've been a plus size gal all of my adult life. However, I gained 12 pounds between my OB appointment in February and my appointment this summer. I have been depressed and eating myself silly. It's quite ridiculous. (And YES, I am disgusted with myself.)

OB's advice:
a. Semen analysis for DH (makes sense to "cover our bases")
b. I need to lose weight (I agree there is a definite need)
c. There is no C. A and B are it. Sighs.

--I am frustrated because I asked what OB thinks about anti-depressants. I have NEVER been on these nor admitted "need" for them before. This took A LOT for me to discuss. She does not recommend that I go on the anti-depressants since I'm still trying to get PG.

SERIOUSLY???????? HELLO....I haven't gotten PG in 4 years of "trying." And while a Baby's health would definitely be my #1 priority, I swear I've read things about "safe" medications to take while PG. Or I could go off depression meds once I became PG. Does anyone have feedback on this?

(EDIT: In re-reading this tonight I realized with a gulp that I did not include my miscarriage in January 2009 when I WAS pregnant.)

--My other issue is this...Being an overweight gal makes me at a high pregnancy risk. I understand this. However, correct me if I'm wrong---as an overweight woman I should NOT have issues GETTING pregnant. Weight can cause difficulty KEEPING a pregnancy, but NOT ACHIEVING it. This is a summary of what I've read and read. Thus, I was hoping for Clomid or something similar to help regulate my cycles. (And to help ensure that I ovulate regularly, as I had 2 months of the last 8 with no ovulation, and 1 month with a chemical pregnancy.) However, my OB doesn't want me to go on medication because my cycles are "mostly regular." I don't know what to think anymore.

Feedback anyone?

--Sighs, I still don't have the booklist on my sidebar updated. But I have been continuing to read. I finished (and liked very much) all 3 books of the Steig Larrson "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" series. I'm currently reading a great book (recommended by some of my readers) called, "The Middle Place" by Kelly Corrigan. It's about a 30-something gal who finds out she has cancer and must cope with dealing with her "new" family (hubby and 2 kids) and "old" family (parents and siblings.) It's been a really great read...and has had me both laughing or crying out loud at different points.

--My 2 year blogoversary came and went this summer. Despite my infrequent posts, I continue to be grateful for the support and advice of my blog buddies.

--I fear I've been a crappy blog-friend lately. One of my co-workers is in the hospital (taken by ambulance from 1st period last week with chest pain---yikes!) I've been pulling her lesson plan load with substitutes along with dealing with all of the beginning-of-the year and back-to-school stuff I always conquer each August/September....thus I haven't had a lot of free time lately.

I HAVE been lurking and reading blogs...without commenting much. Please know I am thinking of you. And I've been FLOORED by the HUGE amount of PG blog buds lately. CONGRATS to all of you...and may your good luck rub off! ;) (Special shout out to Marie! And Happy Bday 9/18 to Mrs. Gamgee!)

<3 <3 <3


Mrs. Gamgee said...

Hey girl!

I was just thinking about you the other day, wondering if your back to school crazies have eased off yet. It doesn't sound like it, but knowing you, you are rocking the whole 6th grade thing!

The marvelous Miss Em has a birthday coming up soon too, if I'm not mistaken... later this week? (Thanks for the shout out!)

I'm going to send you an email tomorrow, as there is much that I want to say re: your OB... but I'm rather pooped just now.

Happy belated anniversary and blogoversary!

Cherish This Life! said...

The aligator pictures are fantastic and I can totally see what you mean about it being an idle year for Em if the issue is not addressed. I hope it goes well and ajustments are made.

I can't even fathom the back to school bit from a teachers stand point. I feel like I'm trying to stay afloat as a parent and I'm not even planning lessons, LOL! I hope it settles down soon!

For the OB thoughts - I have MANY but I would tell you to find another. I DREADED switching doctors, it was awful. The whole new patient thing and then getting an appt and all that but when you find the right one it is so worth it. We stuck with an OB and not an RE and after 3 I finally found THE ONE. Choice #1 was awful, I was there quite some time before I got the nerve to leave. Choice #2 was better but too passive for my liking and Choice #3 is everything we dreamed of and more. He is aggressive but not scary and has really made an effort to get to know us and what we want. It took so much time and it was so stressful but I am so thankful we kept switching. I will be praying for you, I know how hard it is to not feel like you have the doctor support you need. Don't give up, there is a good one out there somewhere that will be perfect for your family!

Congrats on your anniversaries too!

Marie W said...

We missed you Alana! They CAN promote Emma or if they have a high achieving class (they do in Broward, see what the teacher says. Hopefully there is something that can be done-we want her to keep loving learning and not get bored.

I am sorry you are still not getting the answers or the support from your OB. They tell us to lose weight, but with the constant up and down, its kinda hard, especially if you are an emotional eater like me :-).

Keeping you all in prayer and praying that your find an OB that is proactive and willing to help.
Luv ya girlie!

Becoming a Family of Four said...

I'm on an SSRI. They are Class C drugs, only because no one does tests on pregnant women to determine safety. Most docs think they are safe, especially Zoloft and some of the older ones. I'll try to wean off mine before May, but if not, I'll stay on it. It is a miracle drug for my anxiety!

Sounds like it's time for a new doctor who listens and takes your concerns more seriously! ((hugs))

Driven To Distraction said...

I've missed you! I too figured the start of school had you running in circles, and it seems as though I was right! I am glad things are starting to smooth out and even out, and I don't envy you moving to 6th grade one bit! That is a difficult age . . . too old for elementary school but still a bit too young for middle school.

I love the pictures of Emma at the alligator farm - what fun! I am glad she has adjusted to kindergarten well and hope that they are able to accomodate her needs (or lack thereof!)

I am so sorry you are in this position with your OB and have to agree with others in encouraging you to switch and get a second opinion. As for the SSRI issue . . . bravo to you for recognizing that you could use some help! I have taken Zoloft on and off for years, starting the last time on the day we lost Q.uinn, continuing through my pregnancy with B.riar, and still taking it (and breastfeeding.) Both my OB and the perinatologist were totally fine with it. Good luck!

And Happy Belated Anniversary to you and your husband!

elle said...

You must relate to your own kindergarten class--some could read 3rd grade level, while others learned the alphabet & basic numbers. Why wouldn't Emma be bored?? Since age 3 accurately repeats whole stories, understands character development, can sing lyrics to all of songs in several musicals, beginning-climax-end concepts, does some simple math..."Grandma if you added 3 years to your age you would be", understands manners & rules ....as much as I have never favored grade excelleration...she either needs supplementary opportunity or might grow to hate being in school. A teacher conference is probaly needed ASAP.

Shelli said...

oh boy, do I have feedback!

I was in the exact same boat as you at age 35. Run!! do not walk, to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I wish I had done it sooner. I spun cycles with my OB until I was 38, and if I have one regret it is that I didn't abandon the OB sooner. Weight- not a factor. Of course it helps to be thin when you are pg, but does not impact getting pg (I was, 6 times in all). By the time I was getting pg with the RE's assistance I was getting older, and my eggs were too (hence the miscarriages).

Trust me. You can stay with your OB/GYN but please get an RE. They can get your DH's SA and the pre-requisite tests for you. Don't wait any longer.


Kristin said...

Run like hell from that OB. Being overweight (unless it is caused by PCOS) does NOT affect getting pregnant. Also, being overweight does not automatically make you high risk. It increases certain risk factors but plus size does NOT equal high risk.

Becoming a Family of Four hit it spot on about the antidepressants.

Your beautiful girl is a smart cookie and I LOVE the pics of her.

I've missed you. Don't stay gone so long.

BTW, Happy Belated Anniversary.

Danifred said...

I can't believe your sweet girl is in kindergarten now!

I took anti-anxiety meds during both of my pregnancies. It wasn't a decision we made lightly, but we did tons of research and talked to lots of people- professionals and non-professionals. I will always stand by the belief that it was the right thing for us. Without the medication, I worry what the stress and constant anxiety would have done to my pregnancies.
There are "safer" meds, but I think it has to be a personal decision that you are comfortable with. Do what feels right for you!

Meghan said...

I'd go ahead and get an RE, as someone else suggested. If you LIKE your OB but feel he's not aggressive enough, you can stay as long as you have the RE as well. Being overweight doesn't hurt your chances of getting pregnant by itself, but it can hugely increase your chances of (or be the result of) PCOS or insulin resistance. All of my secondary infertility issues (and two miscarriages) stemmed from unbalanced insulin levels and low progesterone, which stemmed from the insulin issues, which my RE finally figured out. Get recommendations and go!

Mr. K. Beckstrom said...

Call Lynise, she probably has some advice for you.

tbonegrl said...

Here's my two cents:

Fire your OBGYN and get a new one. If you have coverage, I'd just head straight to an RE.


You need a game plan, and to move forward.