Thursday, May 21, 2009


Welcome, ICLWers! This is my 3rd time participating in International Comment Leaving Week. As always, I am looking forward to meeting new online friends, and checking out new blogs. :)

Since most ICLWers are here because of Mel's blog, I thought I'd do a quick run-down of my IF history...

--Met DH in 1994. We lived in the same co-ed dorm at Ohio University. We started dating in 1995 and got married in 1998, shortly after moving from Ohio to Florida.

--We intentionally waited 4 years before TTC. We wanted to pay off some loans, get settled with our bills, become a 2-car instead of 1-car household, etc. Not to mention, it was great to have lots of "US" time. :)

--Once we began "trying," my OBgyn said not to "worry," until after 2 years, as I had been on various forms of birth control pills over the years.

--Right at the 2 year mark, I became pregnant with our daughter, Emma. She was born healthy and sweet at 37 weeks in Sept 2004. I cherish her everyday!

--For 3+ years now, we've been TTC another child. Emma has mentioned interest in having a sibling many times. She will be 5 in September. As she gets older, I freak out---I don't want her to be an "only" child. I have real issues with this. Sibling relationships are SO important to me. But at the same time, I don't want a huge age gap between her and a it's a bit of an internal struggle for me sometimes.

--Of course, as Emma gets older, I get older too. I turned 34 this past April. I try not to freak out too much, when each month passes and I'm not PG yet. This is somewhat of an internal struggle at times too. When will I know I should give up on my dream of having another child?

--This past January ('09) we were thrilled to learn I was pregnant. DH and I were very excited! We planned to share the news with our families after my OB appointment (scheduled for 2 weeks after my HPT) confirmed the pregnancy. Sadly, I had a miscarriage a few days before the appointment. (If you're interested in details, you can read this post or click on any items labeled "peanut" or "miscarriage" in my blog topic list.)

--After my miscarriage, my OB told me to come back this summer if I wasn't PG yet, and we would figure out our next steps from there.

--On a side note, I suspect that I also had a miscarriage in the fall of '08. However, as I never took a hpt nor went to the OB, this is unconfirmed. But based on the way my body felt, and the miscarriage I endured in January, I'm pretty sure I had one in the fall as well.

--So, I am praying for peace of mind. If I am not meant to have another child, let me figure it out and find peace. If I am meant to have another child, let me stay calm, try to remain be patient and wait for the good things to come.

--Now it's a waiting game... and a hoping game... and a keep-going-without-getting-too-down-on-myself game... Welcome to my blog, where I vent to keep myself sane! :)


looking4#3 said...

Thank YOU so much for you wonderful comment on my blog. It is so nice to meet others who really know where you are and what you are going through.
I will be here--often!!!!

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Great intro... my mother always says, 'don't pray for patience, because that's just what God will give you'. Praying that you won't have to wait much longer!

Sunny said...

I appreciate the recap! You definitely have a lot of patience, I wish I could borrow some. I was running to the OB/GYN for tests after 6 months TTC the first time around (did treatments almost continuously until becoming preggers at 22 months)... and now I'm only about 6 months into it and growing restless already. :) I hope neither of us has to wait much longer!!

WiseGuy said...

Oh, I so hope you come out a winner in the game and Emma gets a baby bro/sis soon! All the very best!


Beautiful Mess said...

HAPPY ICLW! Great intro! I'm not sure if you kn ow this or not, but my two are 6 years apart. And while I didn't want to have them "on top of each other", I also wasn't expecting us to take so long getting that elusive second. Obviously, I can't change what happened, but it really was helpful to have Nae be so much older and helpful when I was pregnant with Zilla. And then when he was an infant. Especially since I don't have easy pregnancies. Just thought I'd give you some insight into what happened to me. I hope you get your BFP soon!

Lori said...

Ditto the very wise WiseGuy.


Me said...

Thank you for your comments on my blog! You are right - it is a great excuse to read about others and their stories. We are about the same age (I've got a couple of years on you), so I understand the fear of how IF will effect ttc #2. Tkeys

cindyhoo2 said...


Thanks for the comment on my blog. You have obviously waited many long months and years to complete your family. I am always so frustrated when OB's tell people to "just wait," I think they cannot fully grasp how that wait feels. Hopefully you will get your BFP soon (or a good RE) :)


jon and tracy g said...

Thanks for the intro! I am sorry for your loss and hope that you can give your beautiful daughter gets to be a big sis soon! :)


wifey said...

Glad to find your blog! So sorry to hear about your loss. Miscarriage sucks (I know this from experience).

Mrs. Gamgee, I love your mom's quote. She sounds very wise!

katery said...

i'm so sorry about the miscarriage, i'm wishing for another strong vibrant pregnancy for you.