Friday, April 24, 2009

"That Kid"

As a teacher, I know what it is like to have "that kid" in my class. The student who I have a slight sigh of relief for...on the days that he is absent.

Yesterday when I picked up my daughter from school, there was a note attached to her daily file saying that she and her "best friend" hurt one another's feelings. Apparently, my Em was being bossy and wanted to play in the "Home Living Center." She demanded that her friend Camille play with her. However, Camille did not want to play in the Home Living center. Em had to sit in the "Thinking Chair" for a few minutes after having a meltdown when Camille didn't follow her requests. (Ode to 4 year old drama!)

The teacher has spoken to DH and I a few times in the past few weeks about Em being "bossy." Sighs... I really hope she isn't turning into "that kid." DH and I believe she is bored. Em is the oldest in her class. She missed the age cut-off for the school year by 17 days. (Cutoff for grade levels is a birthday before August 30th, and Em's bday is Sept 17th.) Thus, Em turned 4 after they'd been in school less than a month. There are still classmates in her classroom who have not turned 4 yet...meanwhile, Em is now closer to 5 than 4.

Yesterday I spoke with the teacher regarding Em's behavior. I said that I understand that Emma's bossiness is not acceptable. I explained we've been working with her at home...but we don't really have a bossiness problem here, since Em only child. (Drat those blasted baby longings. I never would've expected them in the middle of a teacher conference!)

I reminded the teacher that Emma loves arts and crafts. I explained that Em has been excited about learning to write. (For example, Em recently asked me to write "OPEN" and "CLOSED" on a piece of paper. She then copied the words onto multiple sheets of paper and went around the house sticking the papers to all the doors and windows, labeling whether they were "open" or "closed.") I suggested that if Em acts bossy, the teacher encourage her to draw or trace letters, as a diversion from Camille. The teacher seemed agreeable to this and stated she had many letter-tracing activities she'd make copies of to have in the classroom today.

When I picked Em up today, her teacher had already left and Em was in the "pick up" room. Em had a "green day" indicated in her folder. When I asked her if Ms. Stephanie had any new art or writing projects today, she said NO. I later worded the question differently and asked Em if she wrote any "letters" at school today. Em again responded NO.

Em did tell me that she and Camille had "a good day" and that they "played together some of the day, but not all day."

I will try to meet with her teacher for a "bossiness" update next week. I don't want my little sweetie to turn into "that kid." Ugh!


sklay723 said...

I'm pretty sure the "bossiness" thing is a girl thing. My daughter is VERY much like yours that way...wants to have some degree of control beyond her years. My son, on the other hand, is just happy to be included. We're hoping and praying that this is just a stage that Meg will grow out of in time!

As for "that kid," I had several of them today...and I'm working with the same group again on Monday and Tuesday next week. Heaven help me! :)

Beautiful Mess said...

I'm sure it's her age and her gender. Like sklay, I went through the same thing with my daughter. She will be 12 on Sunday (send help) and she's no longer bossy, just a wee bit weepy *hormonal* at times. It's a great idea to have her do more writing and tracing though.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I have 'that kid' in Cooper, although I suspect that it is for the opposite reason - he is the youngest in his preschool class, turning 4 next week while all of the other kids are 5 and going to kindergarten next year. I am very thankful that his teachers have been so accomodating and work with him on his social skills (which he lacks despite having a younger sister with whom he must play and interact!) Good luck!

Carrie27 said...

Same fear here. We see it every day, and we don't want one of ours to be that kid, because we know what it is like to teach that kid.

But, I think you are completely right, she probably is bored. Maybe the teacher can find some more activites for Em to work on, so she doesn't get bored.

Misty said...

Em sounds really smart. I Em's teacher uses the suggestions that you gave her. I'm sure she won't turn into "that kid."

Thanks for you nice comment on my blog.

Becoming a Family of Four said...

bossy 4 year-old only child here too...I've never worried she will be bullied, but more that she'll BE the bully!